A decision, not a verdict.
Six steps to separate the facts from the story and define a proportionate next action.
Start with a bounded question
“Should I send this amount by Friday?” is workable. “Is my relationship real?” asks for certainty that this service does not have. We agree on the action, the amount, the deadline and the things your review is not meant to answer.
1. Put events in order
Record when you met, what was requested, what changed and what is due next. A date supplied from memory remains approximate. A screenshot is a record of a statement, not independent proof that the statement is true.
2. Label the information
Fact: directly established by the information available. Statement: something someone said. Unknown: something material that has not been established. Interpretation: a possible explanation. These labels travel with the information throughout the memo.
3. Add up the exposure
Keep already-spent money separate from new commitments. Record currencies, fees, refund conditions and deadlines. Do not turn every figure into one currency using an unstated exchange rate. The result is a record of the amounts you supplied, not a financial plan or investment recommendation.
4. Ask the questions that change the action
Five questions are selected for their effect on your next move. “What does this amount cover?” is more useful than “Why are you like this?” The memo includes what a useful answer would establish, without pretending that any answer proves a person's motives.
5. Define GO / WAIT / STOP
GO: proceed only with the named, limited action and stated conditions. WAIT: pause that commitment until specified information is available. STOP: do not make that commitment under the present conditions. None of the labels is a diagnosis, a verdict on your partner or a guarantee about an outcome.
6. Set a review point
Write down what would change the decision, who needs to answer and when to revisit. “Wait” without a next question or date is not a finished plan.
Where we stop
Legal rights, immigration eligibility, taxation, investments, mental health and immediate danger need the relevant qualified source. We do not contact your partner, search private accounts, track people or request sensitive third-party records. Public sources are used only within the scope you approve.
Read a complete illustrative memo, or use the seven questions on your own.